{"id":2171,"date":"2023-11-16T13:20:00","date_gmt":"2023-11-16T13:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/04aee77f-5ad8-40d7-abef-55a3bbd84b95"},"modified":"2024-12-29T16:48:23","modified_gmt":"2024-12-29T16:48:23","slug":"ep-14-managing-conflict-and-anger","status":"publish","type":"sr_playlist","link":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/?sr_playlist=ep-14-managing-conflict-and-anger","title":{"rendered":"Ep 14: Managing Conflict and Anger"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This week we are talking about the structure of anger and how we can manage our responses.\u00a0 We take you through the stages of conflict and share some thoughts on how we can regain control of our responses. In this chat, we also talk about aggression and how useful it can be especially when channeled in the right way for example at a sporting event, where being aggressive has the potential to help you win and overcome difficulties. <\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>Please support our podcast and our CIC.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.paidonresults.net\/c\/60731\/1\/2337\/0\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060Bedding and Beyond\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/bioptimizers.uk\/DlQRA\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060https:\/\/bioptimizers.uk\/DlQRA\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/thepinkpig.co.uk\/QZuuV\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060https:\/\/thepinkpig.co.uk\/QZuuV\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/tinyurl.com\/ysamhykv\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060Airport Parking\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/tinyurl.com\/ytpunl8p\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060Replacement vehicle<br \/>\nbatteries\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a> <\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>Work with us here: <a href=\"ABRH.solutions\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060ABRH.solutions\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>You can ask Ali and Rich questions via our email:\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u2060\u2060<a href=\"alirich@rethinking-trauma-and-transition.com\u2060\u2060\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060alirich@rethinking-trauma-and-transition.com\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Join our LinkedIn and Facebook pages:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/rethinking-trauma-and-transition\/?viewAsMember=true\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/rethinking-trauma-and-transition\/?viewAsMember=true\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/RethinkingTrauma\/\u2060\u2060\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/RethinkingTrauma\/\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Or you can work individually with us here:<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>Ali <a href=\"\/\/mojo-in-mind.com\/\u2060\u2060\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060https:\/\/mojo-in-mind.com\/\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Rich\u00a0<a href=\"\/\/resilientdefence.co.uk\/\u2060\u2060\">\u2060\u2060\u2060https:\/\/resilientdefence.co.uk\/\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>You can buy Rich\u2019s books here:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/Mr-Richard-Hilton\/e\/B0B1GXTH61\/ref=aufs_dp_fta_dsk\">\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060\u2060https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/Mr-Richard-Hilton\/e\/B0B1GXTH61\/ref=aufs_dp_fta_dsk\u2060\u2060\u2060<\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>00:00\tIntro and recap<\/p>\n<p>05:29\tAnger as a threshold for action<\/p>\n<p>05:52\tDoes All anger lead to aggression?<\/p>\n<p>06:38\tCreating state and accessing it<\/p>\n<p>07:15\tThe different types of aggression<\/p>\n<p>08:15\tManufactured aggression\/emotion<\/p>\n<p>09:04\tAccessing the physiology without the emotion<\/p>\n<p>11:01\tHostile versus instrumental aggression<\/p>\n<p>12:10\tConflict management and de-escalation<\/p>\n<p>12:40\tUnfair versus no control\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>13:09\tThe emotions of actual or illusionary threat<\/p>\n<p>14:18\tThe Betaris Box -effect of attitude and behaviour<\/p>\n<p>15:58\tEating emotional garlic \u2013 our assumptions<\/p>\n<p>17:20\tOur internal thinking<\/p>\n<p>17:56\tFive stages of managing an aggressive situation<\/p>\n<p>21:16\tDynamics of conflict \u2013 anger as a defensive action<\/p>\n<p>21:59\tPhysiology &#8211; What happens when we get angry?<\/p>\n<p>23:45\tHow training can override biology<\/p>\n<p>24:19\tWhen logic leaves us<\/p>\n<p>24:45\tLoss of pain responses and doing the impossible<\/p>\n<p>27:18\tDeterioration of cognitive processing and tunnel vision<\/p>\n<p>28:20\tHyper focus<\/p>\n<p>29:01\tDe escalation<\/p>\n<p>29:14\tUsing space and barriers to defuse the conflict<\/p>\n<p>30:52\tAcknowledging what\u2019s going on<\/p>\n<p>31:21\tChange posture to change response -sit down<\/p>\n<p>32:36\tAiming for a win-win situation<\/p>\n<p>33:04\tAftercare in a work setting<\/p>\n<p>34:08 \tWhat are you really hearing and seeing<\/p>\n<p>34:55\t80\/20 Principle \u2013 where is the shared goal?<\/p>\n<p>35:30\t80 is masking<\/p>\n<p>36:05\t20 is the actual conversation<\/p>\n<p>36:35\tChunking up to find common ground<\/p>\n<p>37:43\tDoes it have to be your way?<\/p>\n<p>39:18\tFinding the win-win<\/p>\n<p>40:26\tCompromise<\/p>\n<p>42:10\tWhat do we share?<\/p>\n<p>43:30\tMoving away from ideal to acceptable<\/p>\n<p>44:34\tRegaining control and the power of silence<\/p>\n<p>47:17\tBreaking the pattern to change the outcome<\/p>\n<p>48:09\tAcknowledging the emotion to break the pattern<\/p>\n<p>49:27\tWorking with\u00a0 anchors to change our response<\/p>\n<p>50:27\tWhen our inner child takes over<\/p>\n<p>51:37\tHow context influences our emotional experience<\/p>\n<p>52:35\tCreating positive anchors<\/p>\n<p>54:43\tDifferent types of anchor<\/p>\n<p>56:47\tWe create our emotions<\/p>\n<p>57:33\tSummary and Outro<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week we are talking about the structure of anger and how we can manage our responses.\u00a0 We take you through the stages of conflict and share some thoughts on how we can regain control of our responses. In this chat, we also talk about aggression and how useful it can be especially when channeled [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"content-type":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":""},"podcast-show":[77],"playlist-category":[],"playlist-tag":[],"class_list":["post-2171","sr_playlist","type-sr_playlist","status-publish","hentry","podcast-show-what-makes-the-difference"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Ep 14: Managing Conflict and Anger - What Makes the Difference CIC<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/?sr_playlist=ep-14-managing-conflict-and-anger\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ep 14: Managing Conflict and Anger - What Makes the Difference CIC\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This week we are talking about the structure of anger and how we can manage our responses.\u00a0 We take you through the stages of conflict and share some thoughts on how we can regain control of our responses. 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In this chat, we also talk about aggression and how useful it can be especially when channeled&hellip;","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/sr_playlist\/2171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/sr_playlist"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/sr_playlist"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2171"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"podcast-show","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fpodcast-show&post=2171"},{"taxonomy":"playlist-category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fplaylist-category&post=2171"},{"taxonomy":"playlist-tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/whatmakesthedifference.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fplaylist-tag&post=2171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}